Smut by the Sea.

I stumbled on this event on Triberr, but boy, am I glad I did. Victoria and Kevin Bliss put their hearts and souls into the day, and it showed.

Here’s how my day went.

I took the 7:15 train from Leeds to Scarborough. Across the aisle another lone female traveller and I exchanged smiles. She was a smutter too, I was sure of it, but how do you ask a stranger if they’re into smut? I’m up for most things, but that was beyond me.

Scarborough’s one of my favorite seaside towns and the setting for my book Knights Vampire. In the book I had to change its name to Whitborough since I gave the castle a whole new history and a few vampires of course. .

We met on the top floor of the central library. How many libraries have signs pointing upstairs and saying Smut? Anyone wandering in to change a book must have thought they’d opened a porn section.

The day kicked off with a reading blast, where authors read five minutes from one of their books. If they overran they received a spanking from Cara Sutra—but some of them definitely enjoyed that.

I think my favorite quote of the day came from Anna Sky. “I’d always wished for a cock, but I should have wished for one I could play with.”

Bella Sattarra came dressed as cowgirl for her reading while partner sported a Stetson and a six-gun. He looked every inch the gallant cowboy. Hmm…can I persuade my husband will dress as a werewolf for the next one?

   

 After a short break, Bea Noir performed with her bed of nails. Everyone winced when she started to do the splits over it—and you should have seen what she did with a cucumber.

Then it was time for the first workshop of the day, Kinking up the Past, led by Slave Nano. He’d brought document and pictures from the past to base stories around. The photograph of the lady parachutist from the 1900s—yes, really—sparked his story about a lesbian encounter in the basket of a balloon.

Etta Stark had shared a spanking excerpt from one of her historicals earlier, but any bride who tells her husband “Let’s get it over with” on their wedding night deserves everything she gets. Readings over, I headed to the beach with Etta and Ashe “Your powers of recovery will show just how much of a slut you are” Barker.

 Then we headed back to watch Blue Belle perform her burlesque—and guess what? She was my train lady.

Another reading slam, and we went to Jennifer Denys’s workshop on researching werewolves. Ideas flew thick and fast. My favorite came from Charlie when he invented lycanally challenged Russians who can only change when there’s snow on the ground. Guess we’re talking Siberia then.

Ever talked to a self-styled phone whore? Cameryn Moore shared her experience working on a sex line and producing pavement smut. Her quick wits, straight talking, and ready sense of humor were a great way to finish up the day. Her delaying tactic of fast breathing and gasping when a customer takes her by surprise will stick with me forever.

After a cover quiz and a chance to win tickets for the Sexhibition in Manchester on 21^st to 23^rd October our day ended with a visit to the local pub.

Did I say I won on the Erotic Tombola? I have new lube to try, and although my husband might not be into dressing as a werewolf—thanks to my goody bag—he has a cock ring to try.