Dee S Knight Talks about Lessons Learned While Writing Ménage #menage #love #romace

                                                           

Ménage is not a form of erotic romance I thought I’d ever write. So when I started, (both as Dee S. Knight and also under another name), I had a lot to learn. Here are a few things I had to grasp and figure out while writing my first sexier-than-sexy romance with more than two people in bed at once. See if they are the same things you (as a writer or as a reader) have also reflected on.

1. In a ménage, more than two people have sex at one time.
Duh. This might seem obvious to you. It did to me, too. But knowing something intellectually and actually writing three (or more) people in a bed screwing around is different. I admit to sometimes having troubling moments, trying to keep one man and one woman both stimulating and aroused, so having to do the same with more people was daunting. I think (I hope) I have overcome the trauma. J

2. Men are hard enough to understand in real life, but in a ménage they're impossible.
I know lots of guys who would be happy to share a woman in an orgiastic night of sex. But I don't know many who would happily share a woman in a long term relationship where they love the woman. Ménages don't have jealous men threatening duels or meeting outside the bar in the alley with guns. No, in a ménage, the men are alpha and they're still thrilled to be one third of a love triangle (or square or polygon). To me, this takes a lot of imagination.

                                                                                                                                                                3. 3. I believe the same is true of women. To me, Sister Wives is a situational comedy. Most guys think their life with two sexy women will be this:

and then are surprised when it turns out to be this:

 There's a country song about how hard it is to please two women. There's a reason it's described as being "like a ball and chain."

4. Age matters. In a regular old romance, a twenty-year-old heroine or an early twenties hero would suit just fine. But in a ménage, older protagonists are preferred. Why? Got me, unless ménage romance seems more forbidden so readers want to be certain the characters aren't taken advantage of. I don't mean they should be geriatric, but thirties seems okay. Whatever the reason, in a ménage, it's better to put a few years under the belts of the lady and her gentlemen before throwing them under the sheets.

5. Regardless of the number of sexual participants, in my world ménages are still romances.
I think it would be easy to write a ménage where the participants engage in wild sex, but in a ménage romance, the characters fall in love. Truthfully, I can see a woman being in love with two men. But two men in love with the same woman, living together and having sex? I. Don't. Know. Seems a little weird to imagine such a happy household, yet that's the goal of a ménage romance. Think of the trouble the characters had falling in love and getting together in When Harry Met Sally. Now try to imagine When Ranger Harry and SEAL Larry Met Sally. There would never be a love-match.

6. Related to that, there must still be a story.
Like any romance, the love element revolves around a story line that must make sense even without the romance or indeed, the sex. Yikes!

7. I still needed to have fun.
I enjoy writing mainstream romance and also erotic romance. But at the start of writing ménages, I tensed up into a ball of writer's nerves. I was afraid of making a mistake. Guess what? I made them. But I found that if I calmed down and looked at the ménage in the proper light (and with the correct VISIO chart) everything fell into place. A ménage is a romance plus a romance (plus a romance, etc.).

The biggest thing I discovered about writing a ménage was not to be afraid. To jump in and give it a try. I'm glad I did and I hope readers are too. In the end, though, I went back to writing couple romances. To me, it's just less exhausting. ;)

What is your opinion? Do you read ménage romance, or write it? If so, what do you enjoy most and what challenges you the most?

See my M/F romances and ménage romances on the Nomad Authors website, https://nomadauthors.com. And while you're there, please check out my latest book, Naval Maneuvers. It's not a ménage, but it full of hot men in uniform, and as a woman, that's enough!

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Blurb

Men and women of the armed forces experience love and desire pretty much like everyone else. Except, well, there is that uniform. And the hard-to-resist attraction of "duty, honor, service" as a man might apply them to a woman's pleasure. All things considered, romance among the military is a pretty sexy, compelling force for which you'd better be armed, whether weighing anchor and moving forward into desire, dropping anchor and staying put for passion, or setting a course for renewed love with anchor home.

Weighing Anchor (allowing a ship to move forward by retrieving the anchor): A professional woman sworn to avoiding all things military finds herself in love with a lieutenant commander in the Navy. Love won't conquer all if she allows her childhood memories to eclipse future happiness.
Dropping Anchor (securing movement by dropping the anchor): Two people find (surprisingly) that they are both in the Navy and love their chosen professions—until one turns out to be an officer but not a gentleman and the other is a gentleman but not an officer.
Anchor Home (safe, smooth sailing): When two former lovers find each other after more than a decade, will a long-hidden secret threaten the course of a rekindled romance or be the cause of it?